Hardly surprising things move just that bit faster in the world of Sylvester Stallone. After all, when you?re a man of as many talents as Admiral Pork Shoulder then there are scarcely enough hours in the day to accomplish all that?s crying out to be accomplished (two words for you, people: Rambo 5). Hence why the casting updates for the Expendables sequel are coming thicker and faster than, well, Sly himself.
Why, it was only a day or so ago that we were bringing you news that Arnie and Bwillis had signed up for roles in Expendables 2, and already Stallone has moved to also confirm the (long-rumoured) involvement of both Chuck ?I?m gonna hit you with so many rights, you?re gonna be begging for a left? Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Says Sly of the latter?s appearance?
We?ll have a big showdown between me and Van Damme, which has been anticipated for a long time, so it should be a good one.
Not sure quite how highly anticipated that particular ?showdown? actually has been, to be truthful. Less than a significant upturn in the fortune of the leading western economies, more so than a new album from Vanilla Ice? Yes, that seems about the right level at which to pitch it. But just as Stallone confirmed that Norris was definitely in, he also dropped another casting bombshell?
We?ve got Chuck Norris and I think Nic Cage.
Crikey! Worra shocker! Although Cage is not adverse to a cameo, as proven by his surprise showing as dastardly racial stereotype Fu Manchu in Rob Zombie?s fake Grindhouse trailer, Werewolf Women of the S.S.. And he is doubtless not adverse to a big bag of cash either, especially given rumours of his financial woes of the last few years (giant nutcracker men. All I?m saying). But Sly was not stopped there either (the sign of any maniac dictator worth their salt)?
We?re trying to work out different scenarios. I like using people that had a moment and then maybe have fallen on some hard times and give them another shot. So we?re always looking for actors like Michael Biehn and Michael Par�. I like those kinds of guys. Someone did it for me and I like to see if I can do it for them. We also need some new blood in there, a Navy Seal-type, because with the Expendables none of them have 20-20 vision anymore. They need some help, man.
No, I?m not a hundred-percent clear what the loveable lunkhead is jabbering on about there either. So instead of getting bogged down in a bout of fruitless analysis, let?s instead turn attention to what he said about the final casting rumour ? that Expendables 2 might be graced by no less graceful a personage than Jazzy Johnny Travolta Twinkle-toes. Over to you, Sly?
It?s possible. The one thing I?ve learned is what is a fact on Monday is a complete fallacy on Tuesday. A lot of it is scheduling. It?s not financial. It?s just that Bulgaria is definitely a jaunt. It?s a commitment, you know what I mean? Especially in the dead of winter.
As noted by the Admiral, Expendables 2 starts shooting next month in Bulgaria. It is being directed by Simon West (Con Air), and is due for release on 17 August 2012.
Source: Entertainment Weekly
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