'Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1' Trailer: Vampire Fetuses Are Super-Strong and Wreck Your Guts Up
Seeing how Twilight's forthright message of vampire-on-human teen abstinence was set up as a pretty obvious analog for promoting standard teen abstinence, you'd think that once the young couple was married--sparkly-skinned groom notwithstanding--they'd finally be clear to know each other in the biblical sense. Not the case! Even when legally wed, the calamity-filled life of Kristen Stewart: Vampire Lover refuses to abide by the clear-cut morality of the Mormon church, and the couple's long-awaited undead sex has some immediate, unexpected consequences: a baby! Which normally would be a lil' blessing from heaven, obviously, but in this case, being that it was born of vampejaculate, it's apparently a womb-killer. Or, as Edward Dracula says, "It's crushing [her] from the inside out!"(!!!)
I know what you're thinking. Ever the optimist, you're thinking Edward Dracula is not a doctor; he is not fit to assess whether or not a half-vampire fetus is crushing anyone, from the inside out or otherwise. Maybe this half-vampire baby is not crushing her from the inside out. Well, I hate to break your spirit, but the vampire who is also a doctor agrees:
Johnny Depp Looks Crazy in 'Dark Shadows'
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are out--apparently in a quarry--shooting their film adaptation of the 1960s, dracula-filled soap opera Dark Shadows, and Celebuzz has the first look at Depp in costume as Barnabas Collins, the vampire family patriarch. What's interesting about this is that Barnabas Collins as originally portrayed by Jonathan Frid looked like this, while Depp's take on the part appears to be somewhere between Joker and Mafioso Powder, which looks crazy.
This post has been generated by Page2RSS
%7Cutmcsr%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eiwatchstuff%2Ecom%2F%7Cutmcmd%3Drss%3B%2B){kind=small}
ChloĞ» Sevigny Christina Aguilera Christina Applegate Christina DaRe Christina Milian
No comments:
Post a Comment